Tuesday, June 4, 2013

A Case of Nerves?

As  a prologue to this entry -- I'm just going to say I know it's been well over a year since I last wrote. I don't have an excuse (or I have several and none of them are really all that good). I've given up making promises and resolutions about continuing to write. If it happens it happens. There are people to see, shows to be called and adventures to have and sometimes I get so wrapped up in all of that stuff that I forget to write.

Now that that is out of the way...here is the real inspiration for writing today.

I'm standing in a booth today, in the middle of a tech run and all of sudden two feelings wash over me. One -- How did I get to this point? and Two -- Do I really know what I'm doing? And then to add insult to injury all sorts of jittery, butterfly in your stomach nerves set in. It's been a while since that's happened. I lost count of shows when I passed the 50 mark at some point last year. I've worked countless tech rehearsals, ran manual and programmable light boards, run sound off of a mac, an Iphone, an iPad, a CD and if we're going really old school a mini disk, so the fact that my stomach tied itself in knots and decided today was a good day to question everything I've learned and done over the past 7 years perplexed me a bit. I shouldn't be nervous, I've done this thousands of times. Not for this particular show, but the motions, I've done these motions thousands of times. Why is this one different?

I still don't know the answer to that question. I have another tech for yet another show tomorrow and I'm curious to see what happens. Maybe it's the fact that I currently have 3 shows all in tech for the Hollywood Fringe Festival. Maybe it's my brain telling me I've got too many things. 3 shows -- I wasn't supposed to have even one. That was the promise I made to myself last year after having just 2. And yet somehow here I am 3 days from the start of previews for the Festival and I have not one, not two, but three wonderful, amazing, unique shows to run. Before you start commenting that I need to learn to say no to things -- I am very much aware of that -- it's my downfall, I like to be helpful. Also as a side note -- be proud of me -- I did say no to 2 other shows just yesterday. Baby steps -- I'm working on it.

I was asked by the managing director of Theatre Unleashed Greg Crafts, (who happens to be one of my best friends) to give him lists from two of the shows for info graphics. Things like how many actors, odd props, fun interesting facts. I laughed driving home thinking about an info graphic for my Fringe this year. My list looks something like this:

1 Stage Manager
3 shows
27 Scripts (confusing -- I know but one of the shows has 25 scripts in it)
1 notebook
4 tech rehearsals
19 actors
3 directors
1 keyboard
1 table
6 chairs
1 roll of spike tape
2 computers
1 cd
2 sound programs
2 light programs
2 pairs of sparkly sneakers ( I can't Stage Manager without my sparkly shoes)
23 performances
26 days
5 day with more than one show
1 month
1 feeling that I wouldn't trade what I do for anything on the planet!

So that's my list -- my info graphic for the Hollywood Fringe 2013. That doesn't include the 31 other shows that I have in my calendar that I'm planning on actually sitting in the seats and watching.

I'm excited for this to start. The nerves will hopefully be gone when I climb back into a booth tomorrow night for tech 3 of 4. Please don't let the directors know a case of nerves set in! -- I'm supposed to be unshakeable, calm, cool, collected.

Nerves or not -- There is nothing I would rather be doing this week or this month than running these shows and experiencing Hollywood Fringe 2013. Absolutely nothing!