I find myself oddly mourning the loss of Friends Like These. I shouldn't be, not yet anyway. New York is right around the corner, a month from tomorrow I will be taking the red-eye out to NYC to run the booth for FLT during it's Fringe Festival run. And yet I find myself sad at the thought of it ending. It's project I've worked on for over a year now. It's a play that I love and I have this overwhelming desire to hold on to it. I don't want to say goodbye, I'm not ready.
Perhaps the sadness comes from realizing that it really is my time with this project that is coming to an end. Friends Like These has the potential to go on to bigger and greater opportunities. I hope it does, it's a script that deserves attention. But my small role in this adventure is ending. That's not to say that I wouldn't consider working on a re-mount in the future, but for now it seems that FLT is headed for places where I can't follow. And so these feelings of sadness, of wanting to hold on, not wanting to say goodbye, not wanting to go through the lists of lasts are starting to build up.
When I was a kid I would try to draw out opening birthday or Christmas presents. The longer I made it last the longer it was until the disappointment of the holiday being over sunk in. It's the same with Friends Like These, I want to make it last. I want to savour each moment of our last five performances. I don't want to say goodbye.