I have really come to dislike closing nights. I get attached to shows and casts. For me closing night truly becomes a night of lasts. The last time we'll put the set on stage, the last time I'll give a 10 minute warning for this show, the last time we'll hear the opening playlist, the last time we'll hear this dialogue and most importantly the last time this particular group of people will be in this spot to do this exact thing.
It's hard to say goodbye to something that is inanimate but yet does possess a life of its' own. Every show is a journey. Each one is different and just as amazing as the ones that came before and the ones that will happen after. As artists we each take one or two things from each show some take literally take things, props, clothing, others take bits of things they've learned, moments they have shared. We take these things and move on to the next production. At the end of the journey you are able to say goodbye to the people, but never really to the show. Within an hour the set is gone, the props are packed, the stage is bare. It's as if we were never there as if it didn't happen. You have to remind yourself that it did happen, that these moments were special, that what we created was unique.
I was truly honored to work this talented cast not only as their stage manager but as the assistant director. Watching Jake, the director, work was a fantastic learning experience for me. He helped me discover that directing is something I want to explore more in the future. He was a fantastic teacher and I'm thrilled to have been able to work with him.
As I transition from SM to actor for our next show I find that I still can't quite get excited about it. Maybe that's because I'm forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. Everyone keeps telling me I'll love it, that I'll want to do it again. I'm still not convinced, maybe after tech and opening next week I'll change my mind. I'm happy to do it and at least say I tried it, but I'm not sure that's where I really want to be!